Sometimes. He just has to cry.
Anyone with a toddler can tell you about tantrums. The terrible twos and everything that comes with. J has been going through that full force right now. He knows what he wants (and doesn’t want) at any given time, and is about to articulate himself well enough to be understood. The problem arises when either 1. We simply can’t understand him 2. We can’t / don’t want to give in to him. This can be exacerbated by fatigue, hunger and being ill.
Then all hell breaks loose. Kicking legs. Flying arms. Tears. Screams. The works. To the random outsider, it might look like he’s been tortured. Or the world is ending.
Well. Maybe to him, the world is ending. He can’t see past the immediate consequence of what he’s not able to get. Hence sometimes, much to the unease of grandparents, we just let him cry. 5 maybe 10 mins later, he’ll be better. He’ll forget the screams. Forget the anger. Back to his normal happy self.
But sometimes, sometimes I lose it at him too. When I’m tired. Or have had a bad day, I’m as prone to screaming at him as he is at screaming at me. Does that make me a terrible mother ? Maybe. Some might think so. I refuse to think about it that way anymore. Because I’m only human. I’m a human juggling work and a child and a household. I’m not perfect. But Jared doesn’t expect perfection. He knows when he’s been bad. He knows how to apologise. How to make me feel better when I’m not in a good mood.
Grandparents might say that we’re being bad for letting him cry. But if you can’t cry, even as a child, how do you expect him to learn how to regulate his emotions?
So the tl:dr of this is. It’s okay to let them cry. It’s okay for you to cry. Everyone will be fine.